It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
pray to the hookup gods
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
