omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
