Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize