have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
