i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
