I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Life is so much better after having sex.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
