just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
