we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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