Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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