windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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