The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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