if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
