she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
