i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
