even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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