never play flip cup with pint glasses
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
