You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
