Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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