yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
