I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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