I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
