He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I looked at my own cervix.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
