why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
