How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
