is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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