I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
