JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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