I must be too annoying 4 u.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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