this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
