so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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