oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
