Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
