im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
