No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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