So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
