i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
