from now on my penis is your penis
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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