is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Randomize
