lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
