Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
