We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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