Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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