Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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