Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
