woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
God I need to hump something, right now.
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