I like to think it a success when the cops are called
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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