Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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