He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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