Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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