Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
