Don't you send me to vm
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
