From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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