new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
ugly people sure do ruin things
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
