I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
