I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
