incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
