You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
