So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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