I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i permit you to call me
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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