Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
