im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
