Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
