I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Randomize
