I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
