There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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