i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Your tits are I can't wait for
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize