i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
