people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize